{"id":1047,"date":"2024-09-05T20:44:30","date_gmt":"2024-09-05T20:44:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/pulsemarketing.cloud\/Angelinafrost\/?p=1047"},"modified":"2024-09-09T22:12:29","modified_gmt":"2024-09-09T22:12:29","slug":"10-steps-to-happy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/pulsemarketing.cloud\/Angelinafrost\/2024\/09\/05\/10-steps-to-happy\/","title":{"rendered":"10 Steps to Happy"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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\u201cThere is no path to happiness. Happiness is the path.\u201d<\/em> – Buddha<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Remember when we were kids, how we were told, \u201cIf you work hard, things\u2019ll work out, you\u2019ll have a happy life\u201d?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I ask because, I\u2019ve done a lot of working hard. In my twenty-two years of raising kids, sometimes working for a paycheck, sometimes not, there was nothing but working hard–days, weeks, months, years on end of nothing but working hard, from sunrise until midnight, with no weekends, to speak of. That\u2019s the life of a mom \u2013 I get it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But all that working hard did not get me happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don’t get me wrong. Back then things were okay. I enjoyed my kids… not as much as I\u2019d have liked to, of course. I was always working, doing everything I\u2019d learned needed to be done by a good<\/em> mom.  And, although sometimes having my added income alleviated stress on one front, it always added stress on every other.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Still, things worked out in that nobody lost an eye, or fell into addiction, or got hit by a comet, but is that the real aim of working hard? Not getting hit by a comet?  Is this how we know things worked out?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now that I\u2019m a grown up, I\u2019ve had some experiences that cause me to challenge this theory. I\u2019ve yet to meet anyone in their later years who says they wish they could have spent more time working hard so they could be happier.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What I do hear oldsters say is they wish they\u2019d have spent more time enjoying their lives, their kids, nature, the simple pleasures.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What got in their way? What got in my way? What\u2019s in your way?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m sure you\u2019ve read hundreds of blogs, articles, even books on this or related topics, but it doesn\u2019t seem to make a difference, for the better, in how folks live their lives. As far as I can tell, there\u2019s been no social re-organization as a result of folks like me pointing out that working hard doesn\u2019t bring happiness. None of this is news.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For the record, I\u2019ve got nothing against working hard. In fact, I love working. I\u2019ve even been accused of being a work-a-holic, but we\u2019ll save that topic for later.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Although we are children of a nation founded on the principle of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness*<\/em>, we seem to have lost our collective value for that which we’re pursuing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Happiness, although everyone wants it, seems to have fallen to the bottom of the queue where most folks are concerned. This is evidenced in the condition of our world. Spend five minutes on one of the several thousand urban interstates spanning our great nation between the hours of six and nine a.m., any week-day morning, and just feel it, <\/em>if you need proof.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a happy world, people prioritize the happiness and wellbeing of everyone around them. In our world, we prioritize our pursuit <\/em>of it, with the procurement of fancy cars and houses big enough to shelter five to ten small families.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In so doing, we find ourselves spiraling away from happy, day in and day out, trying to buy our way out of the resulting desperation. Mark Knopfler calls it Industrial Disease. The Anonymous community calls it addiction or fill-in-the-blank-<\/em>ism. I just call it desperation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is where we are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This post is about the difference between working hard and doing The <\/em>Work – hat tip to Byron Katie – <\/em>and how both relate to happiness. <\/em>We’ve covered the former sufficiently. Let’s look at the latter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Work is quite different from working hard. The Work happens on the inside, where our solutions live. It\u2019s where I go when working hard isn\u2019t getting me what I want.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What makes it Work?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since we\u2019ve learned that the house and the toys are what will make us happy, The Work is difficult because it requires turning away from the impulse to buy something when we feel frustrated, insecure or blue.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ever notice how the \u2018happy\u2019 from that new pair of shoes wears off way before the \u2018new\u2019 does?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Something else that makes it challenging is that The Work doesn\u2019t get us the car or the clothes, or the guy \u2013 at least not directly. Since it doesn\u2019t obviously <\/em>take us toward what we think will make us happy, it feels downright awkward to take an action, which seems unrelated to what we think we so desperately desire.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To make it worse, the \u2018action\u2019 looks and feels more like a non-action, and that doesn\u2019t sit well with us doers!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The cool news is, The Work is<\/em> the stuff that gets us closer to \u2018happy\u2019.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we\u2019ve gotten the hang of denying the impulse to buy (or eat, drink, smoke, f#@k) when we feel blue, the next thing is to sit with our discomfort and refuse to do anything else until it passes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The more often it\u2019s done, the closer to happy you can stay<\/em>, and eventually, the happier you can become in a sustained way. The happier you become, the less you\u2019ll feel owned by destructive impulses and possessions, and the more free you\u2019ll feel to do things you know you\u2019re here to do, like write, sing, bike, play or serve in ways only<\/em> you can.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For real.  I know this sounds a little simplistic. It is<\/em> more involved than this, so read on. Below you\u2019ll find those ten steps I promised – a practical guide that breaks down a simple, effective process for you. Notice, I didn\u2019t say easy\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I don\u2019t call this The Work for nothing. Because as I\u2019ve said, this doesn\u2019t<\/em> pay the mortgage, at least not directly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What it does do is bring you closer to happy, if<\/em> that\u2019s what you want.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Working hard is fine, but<\/em> you have to be willing to do some Work too, or happy won\u2019t come \u2013 without a glass of wine or two, or a puff or two… which as we know, always wears off and usually leaves you a little further from happy than you were when you started.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, I\u2019d like to share a shortcut to happy which I\u2019ve been using for years. I\u2019ve been using it for years, because it works. I’m happy to say that after all these years of using it, I hang around closer to happy, most of the time. When I started, this was not at all<\/em> the case.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This ten step process is an amalgamation of a whole bunch of juicy stuff I\u2019ve gathered and practiced, because, at a certain point I got sick of working hard and waiting for happy to arrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I trust you\u2019ll find this useful and effective, if you follow each step, exactly. Cutting corners won\u2019t work with this. It helps to engage it like an experiment: with an open mind, curiosity, and the intention to shift your internal state to one of lightness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ten Steps to Happy, Fast<\/em>:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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NOTICE <\/p>\n\n\n\n